Don’t let anyone fool you, dad jokes are the granddaddy of all knee-slappers and the father of all puns. Get ready for groan-worthy comedy because this 2023 wall calendar is complete with cheesy quips, witty one-liners, and horribly awesome jokes every day of the year. Remember, you don’t have to be a dad to tell dad jokes!
Q: Why did the coffee file a police report?
A: It got mugged.
"Dad, can you put my shoes on?"
"No, I don't think they'll fit me."
Never trust someone with graph paper. They’re always plotting something.
Our American Flag hat represents our passion and pride to provide handmade goods crafted right here in the USA. With a timeless design, pressed into full grain Horween Leather, this hat is the perfect patriotic addition to your everyday collection.
Specifications
• Fabric Content: 65% Polyester, 35% Cotton, Leather
• Care Instructions: Hand-wash
• Season: All seasons
While a well manicured beard is a symbol of power and prestige, an unruly and disheveled beard has the potential to lead society into complete anarchy. Do your duty and maintain your beard with 1.6 oz tin Duke Cannon's Best Damn Beard Balm. Made with superior grade ingredients like lanolin and cocoa butter, our Beard Balm helps moisturize and protect a man's beard and the face underneath it.
With a pleasant woodsy fragrance, it’s like a portable Redwood forest in your pocket.
There is a fine line between the unruly beard of a grizzled mountain hobo and the dashing beard of a world champion. Go from unkempt to "kempt" with Duke Cannon's Best Damn Beard Oil. Made with premium natural ingredients such as Apricot kernel, argan, and jojoba oils, it's formulated to soften even the hardest working beards. Features the scent of freshly split cedar, making you feel like you're on a walk through the Redwoods.
Do your duty and civilize your beard with Duke Cannon's Best Damn Beard Wash. It's made with plant based ingredients to tame your mane and moisturize the skin underneath it without stripping your beard of its natural oils and power.
Product Specifications:
Hops extract to moisturize skin
Citrus peel oils to rejuvenate
Barley & wheat protein to strengthen
Soybean oil to soften & condition
Sulfate and paraben free
In the early days of the American Frontier, rugged pioneers indulged with a dry buffalo steak and a pull of whiskey, not $12 appletini and plate of bruschetta. Duke Cannon honors that independent, pioneering spirit by partnering with Buffalo Trace Distillery to add their award-winning Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey to this Big American Bourbon Soap.
Weighing in at a full 10 oz, this large, American-made soap has a rich, oak barrel scent that smells as good as bourbon tastes.
Duke Cannon would rather explore the Great Plains on horseback than navigate the parking lot of an outlet mall in a compact car. It's in the Great Wide Open, about 1000 miles from the nearest food court, where a light breeze carries the scent of old leather mixed with fresh rolled tobacco leaves. Take a trip back in time when a nice, masculine scent didn't involve citrus fruits or flowers, and experience this American-made soap inspired by leaf and leather.
This ain't no squirrel huntin' soap. This is big soap for big game hunting. At a hefty 10 oz, it's double the size of other hunting soaps, and it's made with a unique formula that captures odors, smothers them, and prevents their release. It's like a Special Forces combat mission against your scent. After all, true hunters know that getting winded is not an option.
Scent: fragrance free.
Dry, cracked hands are like living testaments to a man's hard work and ingenuity. And while hard working hands are to be celebrated, let's be honest; dry, cracked hands feel awful. That's why Duke Cannon introduced Bloody Knuckles Hand Repair Balm. Made with lanolin, it provides much-needed moisture without leaving the hands feeling sticky or greasy.
At 5 oz, this is a hearty serving that will last a good long time. Formulated to repair the hands of workers, fighters, and world champions.
The Handsome Man Travel Kit contains TSA-friendly versions of our top selling grooming goods so you can be top smelling fellow at the hotel bar or the cleanest looking chap at the conference. The see-through, reusable bag contains:
• Superior Grade Shaving Cream (2 FL. OZ.)
• Ice Cold After-Shave Balm (2.3 FL OZ.)
• Big Ass Naval Diplomacy Soap, Jr. (4.5 OZ.)
• Bloody Knuckles Hand Repair Balm (1.4 FL OZ.)
• Cold Shower Cooling Field Towels (3 single units)
Prescott is a woodsy blend of light citrus, fresh oakmoss, & tonka. Smells like catching the sunrise before an early morning hike. Does not smell like being stuck in a cab on the George Washington Bridge during rush hour in August.
Profile: Woodsy, rich, with some green notes for balance
Type: Eau de parfum (that means highest-quality fragrance)
Key Scent Components: Citrus, Oakmoss, Tonka
Our Range Sunset Hat features a striking, modern take on one of the best aspects of the western frontier. This picturesque sunset is heat stamped into full grain Horween leather.
Our Range Sunset Hat features a striking, modern take on one of the best aspects of the western frontier. This picturesque sunset is heat stamped into full grain Horween leather and paired with one of our six hat colors options.
One Size Fits Most (6 5/8" - 7 5/8")
Snap Back Closure
Mesh Back
65% Polyester, 35% Cotton
6 panel mid-profile
3-1/2" crown
Duke Cannon's Solid Colognes are the alternative to offensive sprays that leave you smelling like you were attacked by the perfume lady at the mall. These portable, concentrated cologne balms melt at your fingertips for the precision application of fragrance on the go.
Inspired by our top smelling Leaf and Leather Soap, Old Glory Solid Cologne offers a classic and sophisticated essence of fresh rolled tobacco leaves, amber, and rich leather.
Smells like being the protagonist in a classic western, not an extra in a teen romcom.
A 1.5 oz. tin lasts a good long time even with multiple applications per day.
How To Use: Gently rub fingers along the balm and then precisely apply to your pulse points (wrist, neck, etc.) The travel-friendly tin allows for a couple applications a day if desired.
The Tactical Soap on a Rope Scrubbing Pouch from Duke Cannon is engineered with paracord and sturdy mesh to eliminate the slippery fuss of traditional bar soap. A mix of coarse and soft mesh doubles as a scrubber for heels, elbows, and every nook and cranny.
Everything you love about mountain culture with a hand-drawn aesthetic heat stamped into full grain leather.
Specifications
• One Size Fits Most (6 5/8" - 7 5/8")
• Snap Back Closure
• Mesh Back
• 65% Polyester, 35% Cotton
• 6 panel mid-profile
• 3-1/2" crown
• Blank hat made in Bangladesh
Driveway shovelers, mountain scalers, snow fort builders, (and spring cleaners) understand the havoc winter can wreak on your face and hands.Hardworking men need to be able to handle extreme conditions without the worry of dry, chapped extremities. Duke Cannon's Winter Survival Tube offers the essentials to protect your hands, lips, and face.
The perfect gift for anyone who plans to go outside between March and December.
Product Specs:
Bloody Knuckles Hand Repair Balm (fragrance free) - 1.4 oz. – a non-greasy balm that repairs cracked, dry hands
Offensively Large Lip Balm (fresh mint flavor) - .56 oz – natural and organic with SPF 15 protection
Standard Issue Face Lotion (fragrance free) - 2.0 oz. – a lightweight formula that moisturizes, repairs, and controls oil for a matte finish
Plus Bonus: 3 Cold Shower Cooling Field Towels
